I recognize television's entertainment value, and I recognize we are not supposed to take the shows seriously, but, sometimes, characters on a television show say something that will resonate with me and open my eyes. And I see
things about myself that add to my practice of self awareness...
For
instance, on the HBO series, "The Newsroom", Sloan says to Don, "...somewhere along the way,
someone told you that you were a bad guy, so you’re trying to do what a good guy would do…"
And I think I do
that……. A few times along the way (this path we call life) I've
been told I’m a bad girl… Sometimes by B telling me all of my shortcomings and mistakes, sometimes by other people such as previous boyfriends pointing out my flaws, and I
take it to heart and begin to believe that I’m not worthy because of all these flaws. Inside I believe these things are true. And so I
imagine what a “good” girl would do, or what I would do if I was "perfect" [that is in quotes because there is no such thing as "perfect"] such as being less moody, eating clean all the time, etc. But, [because I'm human] well, I will never achieve this illusive "good girl" status, or be "perfect", so feelings of failure take over.
I think that is a lot of what leads me to eat - not just the sense of failure but the belief that I cannot be trusted with food. It's a hopelessness.... inside I say to myself, "well I might as well just eat more then".
So as much as television is "mind candy", it can aid in self awareness!
