The reality is: I am hiding from everyone
because I don’t want them to see how fat I am.
The reality is: I don’t want to talk to anyone until I feel
good about myself or have things under control.
The reality is: I feel ashamed that I can’t get in control,
embarrassed that I allow it, guilty that I let others down by not holding
myself to the same standard that I hold them to.
The reality is: I fear that I wont get control back. I fear that
it will spiral worse out of control and I’ll bust my pants. I fear that people are talking about me behind
my back. I’m certain they are. I just
don’t want to accept it
The reality is: What if I had Confidence? Wouldn't it be amazing to lose weight, have self control, feel good about myself, feel beautiful, and have others notice my beauty?
The reality is: I've been though
this mental exercise before, I've gone over these same belief systems in my head and
still not managed to remember it or apply it.
I don’t put enough emphasis on it?
I don’t truly believe it? Apparently not!