I've been gone for a while but I'm still moody, and still eating haphazardly. I'm actually less moody, thanks to some WONDERFUL drugs. But I continue to eat based on how I feel, and feelings constantly change, even if you are normal and "healthy".
I was recently diagnosed with Ischemic Colitis that landed me in the hospital for a week. Best and worst week of my life. I was able to really clean out my system (not by choice) and rest my body, which it desperately needed. I do not have PTO accumulated yet, so it was an unpaid week, and I racked up some crazy hospital bills. But I learned that my insides cannot take the beating I put them through. Ischemic Colitis is caused by lack of blood flow to the intestines. So I've been dehydrating myself, working out hard, and eating crap. This has all attributed to these problems. This has been going on for a while now... I can't remember when the pain started but probably a year or more... it's been almost two years since I thought I "pulled" my hip flexor/ psoas, which, in hindsight, was probably the beginning of these issues.
Since leaving the hospital I have gained 15 lbs, AT LEAST, because I have been scared to eat fruits and vegetables and have been eating what I know will not make me sick. And also I have been pushing the limit of my digestive system because I "need" that feeling of fullness to feel safe and secure. So I eat until about an 8 on the hunger scale, instead of the full 10... falling into the security of fullness without making myself sick.
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